By Allison Smith, Brendan Rigby & Weh Yeoh
In the romance stakes, aid workers often get a bad rap. In fact, recently over at
On Motherhood and Sanity,
we heard about 52 reasons why you shouldn’t date an aid worker. We love
that site, but respectfully, we disagree (yep, clearly not breaking any
of the stereotypes outlined). Here’s why:
1. You will never have to suffer through a song by Bono or Madonna in
their presence. After all, irrespective of their successful hits, “what
do they know about development?”
2. They’re good at bargaining, and always pay close to local price.
3. They know how to fix a bicycle, using only a toothpick, some dental floss and a few small twigs.
4. They’ll be able to tell you the exchange rate in any country, down to the nearest cent.
5. In a crisis, they are seemingly unflappable, even if they’re melting down inside.
6. Impressive gut bacterial flora.
7. They’ll have an plentiful supply of cassava, chia seeds or any other obscure super-foods that you can tap into.
8. They’ll never complain about a hard mattress, a non-fluffy pillow
or a cold shower (though you might have to suffer through a story about a
harder mattress, less fluffy pillow or a positively arctic shower from
years ago).
9. They know how much it should cost to take a taxi from the airport, even if they haven’t been to that country before.
10. They can quote lines from Hotel Rwanda.
11. They’re okay with using squat toilets – in fact, they may even
tell you how it’s better for you because it elongates your bowel.
12. They make good +1′s to weddings, birthdays and open house parties. Impress your friends.
13. You will not have to indulge your own sense of guilt at social
injustice and global inequalities, as they will take the whole burden on
their own shoulders.
14. Smugness doesn’t come easier than when dating an aid worker.
15. Use ‘Moral Credits’ gained from dating an aid worker to offset the morally hazardous aspects of your life.
16. No, you do not have to give a beggar change. Although, there is
evidence demonstrating the positive effects of non-conditional cash
transfers, it may not have any robust effect on long-term earnings or
savings.
17. Never feel like you need to donate clothing to charity again!
18. You’ll have reason to visit all kinds of exotic destinations
around the world, places you would have never visited (and perhaps never
wanted to…).
19. Get perspective on your cold/sprained ankle/other injury or ailment – hey, it’s not malaria!
20. Your mother will
love the fact that you’re dating someone so caring
.
21. They will be able to pack a suitcase or backpack as effectively as Mary Poppins.
22. They will be perfectly content if you skimp out on their birthday
and take them to the local hole-in-the-wall place, because it serves
“real Pho”.
23. They’ll know how to stream obscure interstate cricket matches/American football games/curling bonspiels via your PC.
24. If they are male (and sometimes even if it isn’t), they’ll have
an uncanny knack for growing impressive beards. As the band “The Beards”
suggests,
You Should Consider Having Sex With a Bearded Man
25. They won’t know who Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry or any others on the
Billboard charts are, being so out of touch with pop culture “back
home”.
26. They know how to use
Seatguru to find
the safest and best seat on any plane, in case of an emergency.
27. They actually enjoy candle-lit homes, although this is double-edged, as it may take away the romance aspect of candles.
28. Your belief in democracy will be restored, as you will come to
appreciate the significance of being able to vote for one of two
parties.
29. They’ll know the one spot in any airport where you can find unlocked wifi.
30. Spending too much time on social media and blogs is better than spending nights at some club with
that work colleague (“She’s just a friend!”).
31. They’ll have done yoga at some stage – flexibility is good, right?
32. They’ll have a camera on them at all times.
33. They’ll be the first to know about breaking news around the
world. “Hmmm, I hope those folk in Galle, Sri Lanka, will be okay after
that tsunami..”.
34. They won’t be easily sold by Fair Trade, Carbon Neutral businesses, or any other seemingly quick-fix solutions.
35. They know how to troubleshoot your SMTP settings on Outlook, so you can actually send emails from outside your home network.
36. She’ll know how to wax her legs using candlewax and foolscap paper (although more likely is that she doesn’t wax at all).
37. They’ll be able to track down Vegemite, Reese’s Peanut Butter
Cups, or any other geo-centric snacks, no matter where you are in the
world.
38. As they view material possessions as unnecessary and nothing more
than a nuisance when moving, you will never have to give them any kind
of gifts.
39. You’ll feel better about what you earn in your job.
40. Your son/daughter will become their school’s Model UN President
(and work to bring about democratic changes to the Model UN from a
bottom-up approach).
41. Have you ever wanted to see bureaucracy at a household level?
Yes? Date an aid worker and see that everything is accounted for.
42. Your children will be empowered through a Family Micro-loans and
Savings scheme, rather than the orthodox Weekly Allowance scheme, which
creates dependency and has shown to only promote sugar highs.
43. Your friends will think you’re going out with someone with the
flair and mystery of Indiana Jones, when in actual fact you’re going out
with someone closer to
Michael Cera.
Michael Cera and Indiana Jones
44. They will never, under any circumstances, inflict Kony 2012 on you.
45. They will be able to seduce you with that most romantic of
languages, Bahasa Indonesia. “Saya cinta kamu”. Ah. It warms the heart.
46. You’ll never have to worry about what they look like when they’re
not “dolled up”, because chances are, they looked their roughest when
you first met them.
47. They are able to use the phrase “I’m going to a networking event” with a straight face.
48. You will get to participate in your first “tweetup” w/ #globaldev
wonks in NYC. #smartaid #1milliontshirts #whatonearthisatweetup?
49. You will beat out celebrities to the next batch of exotic and trending baby names.
50. They wouldn’t be caught dead in Crocs.
51. They’ll know how to speak English to anyone, regardless of where
they’re from. For example, they’ll say “seeya this arvo” to an Aussie,
“Oh! Master, I beg you. I want to doze small small” to a Ghanaian and
“why the hell do you call that hat a toque, eh?” to a Canadian.
52. If you end up getting married and your wedding is being paid for
by either of your parents….well, let’s just say that aid workers know
how to schmooze donors.
On
our last evening in the Canaries I had the good luck of meeting Teodoro
Mylonas. Teodoro is the 72-year-old, sweet-natured Greek grandfather
you never knew you’d always wanted. Originally from Argentina, Teodoro
lived in 27 different countries before settling in Tenerife; his father
was an officer in the Salvation Army. In true Argentinian fashion,
Teodoro pronounces his “ll” with a “j” and shouts a genuine “mah-ma
mi-ah!” when he is impressed, excited or shocked.
A bandmaster and spirited musician, he greeted the Anastasis
on the docks of Muelle Cruz with his trumpet. He has since played at
every arrival and departure of Mercy Ships’ fleet, more than 30 times
since 1990.
From
a bird’s eye view, Conakry is a skinny peninsula stretching southeast
into the Gulf of Guinea. It is webbed with one-way streets and sprinkled
with grassy roundabouts – all of which funnel into one route of passage
back to the mainland. Right down the center is the main thoroughfare.
On weekdays cars crawl in and out like sand in an hourglass. In the port
at the end of the peninsula is a blue and white ship, its prominent
docking spot catching the attention of (slowly) commuting Guineans
daily.
Since the Africa Mercy’s
arrival on August 22nd, anticipation in the city had escalated. Local
radio and TV stations ran spots featuring available health services
offered by Mercy Ships; crew members passed out flyers with information
about screening day; and on the streets of Conakry, word of mouth
quickly spread the news of the event. The response was overwhelming. By
the end of Monday, an estimated 4,500 potential patients and caregivers
had entered the gates.
“Guinea has enormous needs for better health care,” Steve Schwind, the Africa Mercy’s
Staff Development Manager, told crew members in a briefing prior to
screening day. “Guinea is among the lowest countries in West Africa in
terms of health resources, which include medical workers and hospital
facilities. It’s among the lowest countries in West Africa in terms of
health outcomes such as maternal and child health. And it’s the lowest
in life expectancy and overall human development.” 
